"It's not that serious"

I cannot categorically tell you how many times I have used the phrase "it's not that serious". Of course I usually interchange it with its equally sufficient mate "I don't/didn't take it so seriously"; don't want to  wear either one out now.

After close observation (took a whole day and night), I have discovered that these phrases come in handy when things are in fact very serious. Par example, on sunday after accompanying someone to a birthday-houseparty of his friend we got in the elevator to leave. I was blest to have in my company said friend, a female friend I invited and four other guys who were also at the party. While in the elevator minding my business (because I still feel dreadfully awkward in an elevator or anywhere else), three guys start talking in yoruba (the language of my father, which I kind of understand) about the most fascinating, inspiring and intelligent subject ever! MY BREAST (putting it in Caps in case you were in danger of missing it or them). P.S these are grown men, I usually feel old at functions I attend with my peers but at this party I felt like a just hatched chick (okay I exaggerate a little, but you get my point). So we have two men/boys who are not involved in this conversation- the one who brought me and another friend whom I met at the part (don't scratch your heads over my use of whom , since I met HIM I have to refer to him has a whom). The-one-who-brought-me did not try to stop this rude elevator speech and whom merely informed them, in english, that he was sure I could understand part of their conversation. At this point I look at my three admirers, smiled and said, my voice dripping with very obvious sarcasm, "thank you". I guess the three idiotic man-boys saw that as a "as you were" because they continued their loud appraisal and commentary. By the way this is not a one-off situation and you cannot dismiss it by saying "oh they probably thought you were mature enough to handle the situation".
At seventeen, while entering an elevator an older gentleman stop the doors from closing just to say "I love your breast" to which I said "thank you" and seeing that as an encouraging sign he went ahead to say "can I lick them"- this is a true story.

While relaying the events of Sunday night to my friend I said "it's not that serious" but she made me realize it is indeed THAT SERIOUS! It was disrespectful and rude to make my breast the topic of discussion in the first place, but doing it in front of me and carrying on after being made aware of my presence was akin to a slap on my face.

I used to think I was more evolved, educated if you may, than my other nigerian female counterparts. I am being specific to Nigeria because that's where I know. However, the events of Sunday night and my first reaction to it made me realize that I wasn't so much different, in fact I may be worse (he who thinks he knows and all). I used to be very angry when I saw women being maltreated/ mistreated by and treated as footstools or stepping stones for their male counterparts. It irked me more when the women just smiled and said something like "what can I do". Oh it alway felt like hot oil was being poured over my head while I sat above a fire. But what makes "what can I do?" any better than "it's not that serious".  Mrs WhatCanIDo and myself Miss It'sNotThatSerious are in the same place, actually I am worse. She knows that the situation is serious but she feels powerless to stop it. I, on the other hand, have decided to deceive myself into a throne of security by making serious issues childs play so I do not have to deal with them. Oh how evolved and educated I am!!!! Please clap for me as I make my way to my throne of self-deceit.

As I relay my story to you, I do so with shame because I hear my voice saying "it's not that serious" to a young girl who can't go to school because her father would rather give money to his friend's son. I see myself cleaning up a battered wife saying "it's not that serious" as I urge her back into her husband's house. I am handing a man a pay check 3 times that of his female colleague as I smile at her and say "it's not that serious". I am dressing up a six years old girl for her wedding night or a night for prostitution (doesn't really matter which one) and as I apply lipstick on her lips i smile and say "it's not that serious". I am a police officer standing in front of a rape victim and thinking of all the paper work this small "accident" comes with I smile and say to the victim "it's not that serious". I am looking down at a girl in a parking lot with 5 guys- three who just sexually harassed her- who is scared of being raped and I tell her "go ahead, it's not that serious!"

I wonder how many people while reading the last paragraph will think "mehn this babe is so dramatic!!!! it's not that serious"

PLEASE LET THE SHAME OR ANGER YOUR FEEL FUEL ACTION.