I know this blog is supposed to be about my view of the world and how much I want to change it (which i still do , by the way) but i find that in my quest to save the world, I have found a lot of flaws and faults in myself that need mending.
I haven't only found flaws, I have also just begun to notice some traits in myself; things that I am not particularly proud of and have tried for so long to correct or ignore or just plain not understood.
I am going to ramble and digress a lot in my posts so please bear with me.
Back to my self-realisation.
I have, just recently, begun to question my actions and motives for doing somethings, my reactions. But before I start to correct these "flaws" I want to begin to accept that they are a part of my design. I have these flaws because they are there to help me make decisions on which path to take.
My favourite poem has always been "The road not Taken" by Robert Frost, and until this moment it did not dawn on me as to why.
I always tell people that I am a complicated person but just now I realised that I am not. I am rather a complex being, as we all are.
The flaws I have nagged myself over are :
1. My extremely nice personality (almost to the point of stupidity)
2. My interest in soooooo many things
3. The ease and fast pace it takes me to get bored of or forget something I am sooo passionate about
4. My affinity for picking someone else over myself
5. My inability to feel like I truly and completely belong anywhere.
6. Over thinking everything
These issues, I find come up everyday, and I am choosing to live with them, albeit wisely, cause trust me I have tried to change them. I didn't know where I was heading, when I started this post, I still don't know.
I just know that I am not the only person who finds things in themselves that they detest (or maybe I am). Either way I am fine with it. It didn't take age to make me realise this, it took years!!!! Longer than I expected it to, but it's okay because I finally know and have accepted it.
I am a work in progress and I love it! I am still being broken down, by myself and my experiences :good and bad. But that is okay too because, when a place is being torn down, it is to create space for a better structure.
Guess this is turning out to be a motivational post (oh well). Just accept that you are who you are and that your strengths and more importantly your weaknesses build you up. And only when you begin to accept those flaws will you be able to change them.
You can't take a tylenol if you keep insisting you don't have a headache.
I know this was a whole lot of "going on and on" but I hope you picked out one thing. aND HOPEFULLY, THE NEXT post will make more sense.
