I cannot categorically tell you how many times I have used the phrase "it's not that serious". Of course I usually interchange it with its equally sufficient mate "I don't/didn't take it so seriously"; don't want to wear either one out now.
After close observation (took a whole day and night), I have discovered that these phrases come in handy when things are in fact very serious. Par example, on sunday after accompanying someone to a birthday-houseparty of his friend we got in the elevator to leave. I was blest to have in my company said friend, a female friend I invited and four other guys who were also at the party. While in the elevator minding my business (because I still feel dreadfully awkward in an elevator or anywhere else), three guys start talking in yoruba (the language of my father, which I kind of understand) about the most fascinating, inspiring and intelligent subject ever! MY BREAST (putting it in Caps in case you were in danger of missing it or them). P.S these are grown men, I usually feel old at functions I attend with my peers but at this party I felt like a just hatched chick (okay I exaggerate a little, but you get my point). So we have two men/boys who are not involved in this conversation- the one who brought me and another friend whom I met at the part (don't scratch your heads over my use of whom , since I met HIM I have to refer to him has a whom). The-one-who-brought-me did not try to stop this rude elevator speech and whom merely informed them, in english, that he was sure I could understand part of their conversation. At this point I look at my three admirers, smiled and said, my voice dripping with very obvious sarcasm, "thank you". I guess the three idiotic man-boys saw that as a "as you were" because they continued their loud appraisal and commentary. By the way this is not a one-off situation and you cannot dismiss it by saying "oh they probably thought you were mature enough to handle the situation".
At seventeen, while entering an elevator an older gentleman stop the doors from closing just to say "I love your breast" to which I said "thank you" and seeing that as an encouraging sign he went ahead to say "can I lick them"- this is a true story.
While relaying the events of Sunday night to my friend I said "it's not that serious" but she made me realize it is indeed THAT SERIOUS! It was disrespectful and rude to make my breast the topic of discussion in the first place, but doing it in front of me and carrying on after being made aware of my presence was akin to a slap on my face.
I used to think I was more evolved, educated if you may, than my other nigerian female counterparts. I am being specific to Nigeria because that's where I know. However, the events of Sunday night and my first reaction to it made me realize that I wasn't so much different, in fact I may be worse (he who thinks he knows and all). I used to be very angry when I saw women being maltreated/ mistreated by and treated as footstools or stepping stones for their male counterparts. It irked me more when the women just smiled and said something like "what can I do". Oh it alway felt like hot oil was being poured over my head while I sat above a fire. But what makes "what can I do?" any better than "it's not that serious". Mrs WhatCanIDo and myself Miss It'sNotThatSerious are in the same place, actually I am worse. She knows that the situation is serious but she feels powerless to stop it. I, on the other hand, have decided to deceive myself into a throne of security by making serious issues childs play so I do not have to deal with them. Oh how evolved and educated I am!!!! Please clap for me as I make my way to my throne of self-deceit.
As I relay my story to you, I do so with shame because I hear my voice saying "it's not that serious" to a young girl who can't go to school because her father would rather give money to his friend's son. I see myself cleaning up a battered wife saying "it's not that serious" as I urge her back into her husband's house. I am handing a man a pay check 3 times that of his female colleague as I smile at her and say "it's not that serious". I am dressing up a six years old girl for her wedding night or a night for prostitution (doesn't really matter which one) and as I apply lipstick on her lips i smile and say "it's not that serious". I am a police officer standing in front of a rape victim and thinking of all the paper work this small "accident" comes with I smile and say to the victim "it's not that serious". I am looking down at a girl in a parking lot with 5 guys- three who just sexually harassed her- who is scared of being raped and I tell her "go ahead, it's not that serious!"
I wonder how many people while reading the last paragraph will think "mehn this babe is so dramatic!!!! it's not that serious"
PLEASE LET THE SHAME OR ANGER YOUR FEEL FUEL ACTION.
November 27, 2013
July 9, 2013
October 9, 2012
ALUU4
I am supposed to be writing an essay, but I thought it was only right to write a bit about my home.
I write this piece with great sadness at (not what my country is turning into but) what the educated youth of my country have decide to adopt as a path for justice. I didn't wasn't able to watch the video but I saw the pictures and I was saddened. This story is another that causes my heart to weep and my eyes to release a downpour of myrrh. If you haven't heard of this story go to
http://lindaikeji.blogspot.ca/2012/10/3-uniport-students-burnt-alive-for.html
What made this story worse for e, was the amount of people who recommended that the perpetrators of this heinous occurrence be killed. What makes this commentators any better than the animals that killed those boys? I say animals, because it is animalistic behaviour to attack without a hearing, to beat someone till their face is covered with blood, they are almost dead and then put a tire on them and burn them.
For the first time, since I became an adult, I am sickened and ashamed to call myself Nigerian. That the youth whom we think will make this country a better place, with so much exposure: csi, law and order so many action movies, would deem it fit to take matters into their own hands. What happened to justice.
You cannot say that you were afraid that these boys would go scot free, if indeed they committed whatever crime they were accused of, because we all know that crime is severely punished in Nigeria. I am amazed that this happened in a university community. It scares me that so many people could stand around and watch this happen with excitement. What does it say about our country.
I am said for Nigeria, that we have taken our love for bad news to a higher level. nOW WE DONT JUST WANT TO SEE PEOPLE SUFFER OR NOT PROSPER WE WANT TO BE part of their lives being cut short. We want to watch, we want to see the blood, we want to bathe in it, dance in it, revel in it.
Is this what my country has become? We are so outraged at people being killed that we think that another show will satisfy us. Such BLOOD THIRST.
I want to have a chance to hear and understand what was going on in the minds of these animals. I need to understand, why we as Nigerians think it is okay to take the laws into our hands and then complain that our leaders are doing now.
If we are doing it all on our own what more can they do but fold their hands?
I usually like to put a positive spin on things, but I am unable to find one now. Not with this story, not until witnesses start speaking up, not until these animals are charged and sentenced for their crime. They murdered people with no aggravation . They took laws into their own hands and the only punishment I want them to suffer is through the hands of the law. Anything else would put me in the jungle with them. Lets stop waiting for karma.
I write this piece with great sadness at (not what my country is turning into but) what the educated youth of my country have decide to adopt as a path for justice. I didn't wasn't able to watch the video but I saw the pictures and I was saddened. This story is another that causes my heart to weep and my eyes to release a downpour of myrrh. If you haven't heard of this story go to
http://lindaikeji.blogspot.ca/2012/10/3-uniport-students-burnt-alive-for.html
What made this story worse for e, was the amount of people who recommended that the perpetrators of this heinous occurrence be killed. What makes this commentators any better than the animals that killed those boys? I say animals, because it is animalistic behaviour to attack without a hearing, to beat someone till their face is covered with blood, they are almost dead and then put a tire on them and burn them.
For the first time, since I became an adult, I am sickened and ashamed to call myself Nigerian. That the youth whom we think will make this country a better place, with so much exposure: csi, law and order so many action movies, would deem it fit to take matters into their own hands. What happened to justice.
You cannot say that you were afraid that these boys would go scot free, if indeed they committed whatever crime they were accused of, because we all know that crime is severely punished in Nigeria. I am amazed that this happened in a university community. It scares me that so many people could stand around and watch this happen with excitement. What does it say about our country.
I am said for Nigeria, that we have taken our love for bad news to a higher level. nOW WE DONT JUST WANT TO SEE PEOPLE SUFFER OR NOT PROSPER WE WANT TO BE part of their lives being cut short. We want to watch, we want to see the blood, we want to bathe in it, dance in it, revel in it.
Is this what my country has become? We are so outraged at people being killed that we think that another show will satisfy us. Such BLOOD THIRST.
I want to have a chance to hear and understand what was going on in the minds of these animals. I need to understand, why we as Nigerians think it is okay to take the laws into our hands and then complain that our leaders are doing now.
If we are doing it all on our own what more can they do but fold their hands?
I usually like to put a positive spin on things, but I am unable to find one now. Not with this story, not until witnesses start speaking up, not until these animals are charged and sentenced for their crime. They murdered people with no aggravation . They took laws into their own hands and the only punishment I want them to suffer is through the hands of the law. Anything else would put me in the jungle with them. Lets stop waiting for karma.
August 23, 2012
Me Me Me... It's all about me
I know this blog is supposed to be about my view of the world and how much I want to change it (which i still do , by the way) but i find that in my quest to save the world, I have found a lot of flaws and faults in myself that need mending.
I haven't only found flaws, I have also just begun to notice some traits in myself; things that I am not particularly proud of and have tried for so long to correct or ignore or just plain not understood.
I am going to ramble and digress a lot in my posts so please bear with me.
Back to my self-realisation.
I have, just recently, begun to question my actions and motives for doing somethings, my reactions. But before I start to correct these "flaws" I want to begin to accept that they are a part of my design. I have these flaws because they are there to help me make decisions on which path to take.
My favourite poem has always been "The road not Taken" by Robert Frost, and until this moment it did not dawn on me as to why.
I always tell people that I am a complicated person but just now I realised that I am not. I am rather a complex being, as we all are.
The flaws I have nagged myself over are :
1. My extremely nice personality (almost to the point of stupidity)
2. My interest in soooooo many things
3. The ease and fast pace it takes me to get bored of or forget something I am sooo passionate about
4. My affinity for picking someone else over myself
5. My inability to feel like I truly and completely belong anywhere.
6. Over thinking everything
These issues, I find come up everyday, and I am choosing to live with them, albeit wisely, cause trust me I have tried to change them. I didn't know where I was heading, when I started this post, I still don't know.
I just know that I am not the only person who finds things in themselves that they detest (or maybe I am). Either way I am fine with it. It didn't take age to make me realise this, it took years!!!! Longer than I expected it to, but it's okay because I finally know and have accepted it.
I am a work in progress and I love it! I am still being broken down, by myself and my experiences :good and bad. But that is okay too because, when a place is being torn down, it is to create space for a better structure.
Guess this is turning out to be a motivational post (oh well). Just accept that you are who you are and that your strengths and more importantly your weaknesses build you up. And only when you begin to accept those flaws will you be able to change them.
You can't take a tylenol if you keep insisting you don't have a headache.
I know this was a whole lot of "going on and on" but I hope you picked out one thing. aND HOPEFULLY, THE NEXT post will make more sense.
I haven't only found flaws, I have also just begun to notice some traits in myself; things that I am not particularly proud of and have tried for so long to correct or ignore or just plain not understood.
I am going to ramble and digress a lot in my posts so please bear with me.
Back to my self-realisation.
I have, just recently, begun to question my actions and motives for doing somethings, my reactions. But before I start to correct these "flaws" I want to begin to accept that they are a part of my design. I have these flaws because they are there to help me make decisions on which path to take.
My favourite poem has always been "The road not Taken" by Robert Frost, and until this moment it did not dawn on me as to why.
I always tell people that I am a complicated person but just now I realised that I am not. I am rather a complex being, as we all are.
The flaws I have nagged myself over are :
1. My extremely nice personality (almost to the point of stupidity)
2. My interest in soooooo many things
3. The ease and fast pace it takes me to get bored of or forget something I am sooo passionate about
4. My affinity for picking someone else over myself
5. My inability to feel like I truly and completely belong anywhere.
6. Over thinking everything
These issues, I find come up everyday, and I am choosing to live with them, albeit wisely, cause trust me I have tried to change them. I didn't know where I was heading, when I started this post, I still don't know.
I just know that I am not the only person who finds things in themselves that they detest (or maybe I am). Either way I am fine with it. It didn't take age to make me realise this, it took years!!!! Longer than I expected it to, but it's okay because I finally know and have accepted it.
I am a work in progress and I love it! I am still being broken down, by myself and my experiences :good and bad. But that is okay too because, when a place is being torn down, it is to create space for a better structure.
Guess this is turning out to be a motivational post (oh well). Just accept that you are who you are and that your strengths and more importantly your weaknesses build you up. And only when you begin to accept those flaws will you be able to change them.
You can't take a tylenol if you keep insisting you don't have a headache.
I know this was a whole lot of "going on and on" but I hope you picked out one thing. aND HOPEFULLY, THE NEXT post will make more sense.
July 26, 2012
CRY FOR CONGO
In my first post, I must have mentioned my passion for the Congo. A lot of people ask why not Nigeria? I do not know? I first heard about Congo when i was about 9 years old, through a music group that came to our church in nigeria. I will not claim knowledge of the issues in Congo, but when I see suffering I do not first think of the story behind it, everyone has their own versions of a story, I think of how to end the suffering.
6 million dead people! Everyone is shouting over 20 dead people, so why is there silence over 6 million? We need to shout, we are all humans, injustice is injustice, suffering is suffering.
I hear Congo and I cry, Every parent's prayer is that their child will never be raped or buried before them. Although childless, I carry the people of Congo in my womb, my bosom, my heart. Let us cry for our brothers, our sisters, our children!!!!
If you can't help financially, it doesn't mean you are powerless to help. Raise AWARENESS. We all know the power of social media. PLEASE do something. Do not think it is contained, so it will never affect your area. even the most quarantined disease can spread with just the tiniest mistake.
I AM NOT attaching thEsE links http://congojustice.org , http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLV9szEu9Ag&feature=player_embedded put blame on anyone. So please do not shift focus from the suffering to the involvement of another country. Cry for Congo do not throw stones at another.
cRY FOR CONGO
6 million dead people! Everyone is shouting over 20 dead people, so why is there silence over 6 million? We need to shout, we are all humans, injustice is injustice, suffering is suffering.
I hear Congo and I cry, Every parent's prayer is that their child will never be raped or buried before them. Although childless, I carry the people of Congo in my womb, my bosom, my heart. Let us cry for our brothers, our sisters, our children!!!!
If you can't help financially, it doesn't mean you are powerless to help. Raise AWARENESS. We all know the power of social media. PLEASE do something. Do not think it is contained, so it will never affect your area. even the most quarantined disease can spread with just the tiniest mistake.
I AM NOT attaching thEsE links http://congojustice.org , http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLV9szEu9Ag&feature=player_embedded put blame on anyone. So please do not shift focus from the suffering to the involvement of another country. Cry for Congo do not throw stones at another.
cRY FOR CONGO
July 10, 2012
Sweet lemons or actual lemons
Lol!!! I start this post with Lol because I haven't been able to do much but lol since Sunday.
In my last post, I was so worried that I had been "messing up, but since then stuff has happened that makes me want to demand an award for stellar behaviour.
thought life had been throwing me lemons without any sugar. if i had looked closer, would have realized that I could still made lemonade.
Maybe I will tell you all about this epic mess up, when its all over, for now speculate, don't worry though I am not pregnant. Just fat!!! lol.
This post is kind of depressing. blah. Hmm I will inject a bit of happiness by urging you guys to come to Le Rouge, if you are in canada, Im going to be there. yay!!!! I will reveal myself that night so you can find me. (Speaking like a famous person already :D)
P.S Carloslaron I'm so sorry for the non-reply, I am avoiding one on one convo right now cause i need to squeeze five buckets full of lemons and sweeten the juice with a teaspoon of sugar. Plus i want to have good news when I tell the bad news. :*
In my last post, I was so worried that I had been "messing up, but since then stuff has happened that makes me want to demand an award for stellar behaviour.
thought life had been throwing me lemons without any sugar. if i had looked closer, would have realized that I could still made lemonade.
Maybe I will tell you all about this epic mess up, when its all over, for now speculate, don't worry though I am not pregnant. Just fat!!! lol.
This post is kind of depressing. blah. Hmm I will inject a bit of happiness by urging you guys to come to Le Rouge, if you are in canada, Im going to be there. yay!!!! I will reveal myself that night so you can find me. (Speaking like a famous person already :D)
P.S Carloslaron I'm so sorry for the non-reply, I am avoiding one on one convo right now cause i need to squeeze five buckets full of lemons and sweeten the juice with a teaspoon of sugar. Plus i want to have good news when I tell the bad news. :*
July 8, 2012
My messed up Couch
Anyone who knows me might be able to tell you I am an awkward person. As in, extremely awkward, try talking to me on BBM. I am talkative in public but one on one? My head battles with the appropriateness of a conversation topic. Trust me! not a good thing. I know this blog is supposed to be dedicated to world issues, but what is the purpose of solving neighbourhood issues when there's a storm raging in your own house?
I have argued the wisdom of personalizing (really being open and honest) this blog for weeks, maybe years (ok years). However, I realize maybe instead of wanting to reach 10 million people at once, I could reach a few who'd extend their hands to others. Instead of doing it all myself and then feeling good about myself, why not help others. Ten happy people will do more than 1 happy me.
Oh well, in other words, I am going to air my mistakes and some of my struggles (they aren't that many, to be honest). Don't expect earth shattering, or steady flows of confessions cause :
1. I'm not one who opens up easily, so be patient
2. I get bored and carried away easily, so I tend to jump from project to project. :(
Confession for the day: I love attention!!! (hahahaha I have never actually said that out loud before and never really thought about it). But honestly, I do a lot of nice and kind things out of the abundance of my heart but I get kind of hurt when it doesn't get noticed and then I beat myself up for the "selfishness". So anyone else who is out there and feels the same way, I guess it is a normal thing, it doesn't make you less kind to want to be noticed, everyone wants someone to know they are there. After all, how do you know you are making an impact if no one acknowledges it.
If no one is there to hear a tree fall, did it actually fall?
Anyways that's my two cents for today. Yes I know it wasn't really a confession but baby steps. Maybe next time i will divulge about my age and what it's doing to my mental state. lol!!! but seriously I have been thinking seriously about that.
See you next time on The World From My Couch. (Sounds like a talk show)
1. I'm not one who opens up easily, so be patient
2. I get bored and carried away easily, so I tend to jump from project to project. :(
Confession for the day: I love attention!!! (hahahaha I have never actually said that out loud before and never really thought about it). But honestly, I do a lot of nice and kind things out of the abundance of my heart but I get kind of hurt when it doesn't get noticed and then I beat myself up for the "selfishness". So anyone else who is out there and feels the same way, I guess it is a normal thing, it doesn't make you less kind to want to be noticed, everyone wants someone to know they are there. After all, how do you know you are making an impact if no one acknowledges it.
If no one is there to hear a tree fall, did it actually fall?
Anyways that's my two cents for today. Yes I know it wasn't really a confession but baby steps. Maybe next time i will divulge about my age and what it's doing to my mental state. lol!!! but seriously I have been thinking seriously about that.
See you next time on The World From My Couch. (Sounds like a talk show)
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